


Deepest

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-18
Updated: 2012-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-31 09:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing is deeper than the hole that has become John Watson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deepest

“I’m sorry,” John says, pressing his palms to his eyes because _no, this isn’t fair, it isn’t it isn’t_. “I’m sorry, alright, Sherlock? I’m _sorry_. You’re not a machine. You’re not—” Machines don’t bleed all over the pavement.

Machines don’t cry on the phone.

Machines don’t. Machines _don’t—_

“I’m sorry,” he says again. “I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. Please.” He pulls his hands away from his eyes, instead lacing his hands behind his head, leaning forward to face the floorboards and ease his nausea. “ _I didn’t mean it_.”

Sherlock’s smell sticks in the room, of course, because he always lays— _laid_ —on this sofa. Getting it all. All smelling like him.

“Sherlock, you’re not a machine,” John whispers, again, to the floor. “You’re not. I’m so. I’m so sorry.”

His last words, face-to-face, had been. Had been _awful_.

And Sherlock. Sherlock didn’t even say anything about them.

 _“I’m a fake._ ”

_You liar._

_“It was all a trick.”_

_You_ liar.

_“No one could be that clever.”_

John hisses at the floor. “You could. _You could_.” His fingers tighten together, and his eyes water all over again. There is nothing deeper, _nothing on this earth_ deeper than the guilt that is swallowing John whole. “I’m sorry. Sherlock, I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry. Come back.”

The abyss in him yawns wider, eating up everything that was John Watson and leaving the whispers of _I’m sorry, I love you, come back_ rattling inside the empty, boundless depths of his shell.


End file.
